All my exams are done for the rest of this year. Only one more year after this and then I’ll be free forever from learning! A bunch of us went out for lunch/drinks after the exam to a pub. I got a beer and a sandwich.
On the way home I was feeling pretty ill and I’m getting so tired of feeling like that. I used to get anxiety attacks all the time. If we ever meet and I ever tell you I feel “sick”, chances are I’m having an anxiety attack. I used to express my attacks by just throwing up (right, Kallie?) but now I throw up and faint and loose all control.
We were on the 410 and I thought I could keep it together but then I haaad to get off and find a wash room. I was in this diner wash room and my stomach hurt and I was seriously considering ending it because in my mind there was no way I could get into a car and drive for another hour. When I left the diner I’m sure the owners thought I just did coke in their wash room.
I know what made me feel like that - the alcohol of one beer and the social situation of hanging out with people I normally don’t in a place that I’ve never been. I fucking hate that. It’s so damn frustrating to have a panic attack because of a normal, everyday, social situation that normal people can function in. And why do I feel sick after and not during? Riddle me that, yo.
OK, Friday night of water and crackers, here I come. Lame ass.
